I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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