Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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