We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize