If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
