Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Rumble strips road head = magical
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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