epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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