yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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