he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There's always time for handjobs
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
