are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
