You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
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After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
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He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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