Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
