i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
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Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
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Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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