I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
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Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
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SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
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