i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
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