so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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