he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
