This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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