remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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