1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize