wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....