and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.