So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.