fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
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bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
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My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
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