He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos