Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
