we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
