yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
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You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
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Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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