Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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