Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
