you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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