Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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