Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
