The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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