Just cropdusted the office
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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