it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
