your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize
