Moan for me like Helen Keller
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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