i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize