I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
