who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
