That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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