Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
