I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
