Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
