if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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