You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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