Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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