I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
