I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
