I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
