Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
