I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
