Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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