Your mouth is God's brothel.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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