Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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