its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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